Am I missing drivers?

Sometimes when I take a look at my life I feel like something's not working. It's as though I am looking at a Windows computer and see huge yellow question marks in the device manager. I'm missing drivers!

It feels like the relationships I have with all of my friends here are gone, and it's my fault for drawing back or pushing them away. Friendship driver needs to be updated.

Uncomfortable relationships make it hard to go to either of the churches I have been attending, so I find myself in a place between sucking it up and going anyway or finding a new church. It also seems to be hard to find a good fit for a single 27 year old who doesn't really want to be in a college group that they let poor, single people stay in after they graduate. I don't want to be an in the door just before service starts and out again as soon as it ends kind of attender. I'm not plugged in, and that makes it hard to get motivated to go at all. Church driver needs to be updated.

Going hand in hand with disconnection from church is a strained relationship with God. There's a reason we are encouraged to not give up meeting together. While faith is personal, keeping it too personal is never a good idea. This is very frustrating because I have known times when my relationship with God is dynamic and amazingly wonderful. Faith driver needs to be updated.

The only things that are going well are work and Lucy (the fish are fine, no babies hatched from what I can tell, by the way). I talked to someone on Friday because I had questions about some errors I saw happening on phone calls and the impact of a pending order that had completed in one system but wouldn't complete in another for a few hours. He send an instant message to his counterpart in my office (I had been asking her those questions and she wasn't sure, so she placed the call to the other individual) saying that his day was complete because he talked to me. While I am absolutely convinced that the comment was in jest, I apparently have made a good name for myself with the people in the other office who do the same stuff I do. That feels nice. I still need to learn to watch myself because I am, as always, too bold for my own good.

So other than work, I feel like I'm at that point in life where it's time to start over. Do I stay here and find a new church and get plugged in and make new friends or do I explore other avenues? The North Carolina avenue looks pretty in the late summer sunshine. I could maintain a similar financial situation down there, possibly even a slightly better one. And I would be near family again for once. I think three years of being so far from my family is starting to take its toll. I've also had a really rough year in general thus far. My grandmother died, I got two really nasty cold/flu icky illnesses rather close together, Snow White died and more than one friendship became strained.

But would moving just be trying to run from my problems? If I keep running from my problems, I will never have a moment's rest. As long as I am here on this earth, where I am my problems will be also. When I left California I had wonderful friendships and a church I loved and with which I was extremely involved. Moving didn't make sense to me then, but I thought it was the right thing to do. I am still convinced that I did the right thing, but I am not sure whether staying or moving on would be better for me now. I will not make any immediate decisions, but I will keep my ear to the ground, and in the meantime, try to get back on track with the things that matter most in life.