I think the most consistent emotion I felt after Snow White's death was sadness, but coming in at a close second was loneliness. As much as I like my fish, they really do little in the way of companionship. They are a nice alternative to watching television for entertainment and add a lot of character to the rooms they are in, but I haven't bothered naming them, if that says anything. (I refer to my 4 Jack Dempsey cichilds as Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack, so they kind of have names...)
Loneliness is really horrible, and while it does not always accompany being alone, at its strongest it can make being alone nearly unbearable. I had a hard time being at my apartment alone just after losing Snow White. I have resorted a lot lately to turning the TV on for the noise factor, which I dislike, but it helps dispel some of the emptiness of my lonely evenings. I believe it was loneliness that drove me to look for another dog so quickly. I was reminded of why I wanted a dog in the first place - I wanted a companion. Having one and then suddenly not having one made the desire for a furry companion so strong.
I have seven more nights alone, including tonight, before I once again have a dog to accompany me to sleep. In the meantime, I will turn to the fan in my bedroom to not only cool me as I sleep but to also drown out the sounds that are not there. It is the sound of loneliness that I dread.
About Me
- Angie
- Mommy to a rescued Bichon Frise and several fish, big sister to an equally precious Bichon Frise in California.
Subscribe To
Posts
Comments
My Blog List
-
-
Tirzah's 12th Birthday4 years ago
-
50代のダイエットは食生活の改善、鍋で腹を満たす7 years ago
-
-
Easter 201312 years ago
-
The Perfect Brownie12 years ago
-
-
Introducing Elliana Joy16 years ago
-
A mother's prayer16 years ago
Save a Life, Adopt a Rescue Animal!
Support Small Paws Rescue
3 comments:
Ah... I know of what you speak a bit, sis. Loneliness is something that is part of being human, and the most heartbreaking discovery is that one can still be lonely and not actually be alone. Thankfully I have not had to experience that too often. Living alone was a very lonely experience, and I didn't have a furry friend to keep me company in the bad old days when I was always alone in my apartment.
Daniel's off at work without me this week, so I am getting a fresh taste of the quiet that comes with no other human activity in the house, when I am until very recently used to having company more or less 24/7. MooMoo usually cuddles with me at bedtime, but I think she spent last night near the front window, waiting for Daddy to come home... which he didn't. At least Monte kept me company, though that is a very mixed blessing, since he thinks 5am is a fine time for breakfast and his "company" turns to stomping on my body, pulling covers off of me and whining at that ungodly hour, given my usual sleep and wake patterns. Hang in there, little sister. The quiet won't be there for always.
It is good there is hope. I have thought about how lonely people must be after losing a mate after decades. But I have noticed they survive. Those I have talked to say it is not easy. Looks to me like God made us to want a companion.
I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. I just realized that I have never been alone for more than a couple nights in my whole life. I am soooo grateful, because I really get lonely anytime Jon is gone. I understand background noise, only it tends to be radio for me. Maybe God is giving you an opportunity to be still and know that He is God. Just a thought. Fortunately, you will have a companion again soon. Only a few more days...
P.S. Were you glad to be in NY today? I thought of you as I watched some of the KTLA streaming video, reminscing of the "good" old days :).
Post a Comment