Sunday, November 20, 2005
When is it right to quit?
The end of the first semester of graduate school is upon us, and there are murmurings of quitting from more than one first year student. We are asking ourselves if we are cut out for this. We are asking ourselves if this is really what we want to do. We are asking ourselves if we even like what we are doing. Some answer no. I admit that I have had some grave doubts regarding my career as a grad student. I'm not sure that I really want to do this. I ask myself why I have those thoughts. Is it pure sloth? Do I just not want to do the work that it takes? Or is it something deeper? Even if I decide that I do not want to pursue a PhD and career teaching college, should I continue with the MA and at least get that degree so I have something to show for my time and at least finish that much? Or is it better to not waste my time and money on a degree that I am not sure I want to use for anything? I think it is a combination. My dreams probably lie elsewhere, true, but I think that is being blown out of proportion by my desire to avoid the work. Then again, sometimes I think it is fear of not knowing what else to do with myself that keeps me going back for more. It is not a mistake that I am here, and I think I need to stick with this longer to figure out whether I really want this. I tend to think that God gives us the vision that we need to get us to where He wants us next, and for whatever reason, I need to be here now, and when it is time to move on I am sure God will give me a new vision. I don't have a new vision yet, so I think I need to stick with this, although I have doubts about it. I am not alone in asking questions, and there are some that have made decisions not to see this through all the way. I do not think that they are wrong, but cannot follow them yet. When will I be able to decide? Time will tell.
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