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I find myself lately, for the past few months, really, looking at my friends from church and college who have gotten married in the past several years. They are families. They have life partners. They seek to serve God together. I find myself looking at that and realizing that I want what they have. Do I envy or covet?
That led me to think about why "Thou shalt not covet" is one of the Ten Commandments. I think at the heart of it, coveting is a failure to be content with the things that God has given us. Inherently it is a lack of gratitude for what our loving God has deemed best to provide for us. It is also a greedy attitude. Overall, it's not something that is becoming to a child of God. Be content with such things and you have.
Is wanting something you do not have always a matter of covet or envy or greed? I don't think so. I think it depends on what and why. If I look at someone's luxury car and I wish financial ruin on them so they are forced to sell it and I can buy it from them, I have a problem. If I want to have more money so I can give it to the work of God, I don't think that's sinful. I don't think that wanting to find a godly man to marry and settle down with and maybe have a family is envy just because I see the kinds of things I want in someone else's life. I think that is more an issue of perceived desire.
Most of us really desire the same things. We seek purpose, fulfillment, love and a sense of belonging. Many people have this desires fulfilled though having a family, but that does not mean that there is only one way God gives those who serve Him the desires of their hearts. He is friend and father to us, and serving Him gives our life meaning. There is nothing more fulfilling in the world than hearing Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." I know these things, yet I still want the greener grass on the other side of the fence. I think I may not be content, but I don't think that I have crossed the line to envy yet, and certainly I don't covet. Trust me, ladies, I don't want your husband or your children! I want my own special blessings from God.
I choose to use the term "greener grass" because I know that I see life from my side of the fence. I do not know what it looks like from the other side, but as God designed woman for man, is it not good for woman to be married? In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy the freedom of being single as best I can.
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6 comments:
Desiring blessings from the Lord is certainly not sin.
The test of covetousness comes when we ask and He tells us "No" (or "Not now").
Are we bitter against the Lord or against others? Do we withdraw from our relationships with others, or from the Lord?
Do we attempt to get what we want on our own? (Effectively ignoring the Lord--acting as if we do not need Him, or He has not spoken.)
"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; / the LORD bestows favor and honor; / no good thing does he withhold / from those whose walk is blameless." ~Psalm 84:11
Consider "the kingdoms of the world and all their glory": is that a good thing?
Physical protection?
Food?
Christ's complete dependence on the Father's will kept him from claiming those good things in his own power, waiting until such a time as the Father would give them to him.
"They soon forgat his works; they waited not for his counsel:
But lusted exceedingly in the wilderness, and tempted God in the desert.
And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul.
They envied Moses also in the camp, and Aaron the saint of the LORD." ~Psalm 106:13-16
Waiting is the hard part! I will admit that it is hard to be content. I know that wanting something doesn't always mean discontentment, but I know how my heart feels at times.
Some of my comments were based on what was something of a revelation to me a few years ago. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I think we all have the same core heart desires, and often what we think we want are avenues that we believe will fulfill those desires. I do believe that when we delight ourselves fully in the Lord, all of our hearts' desires are found in Him. All of the good things in life with which God chooses to bless us will not fulfill our desires unless we are first delighting in God.
We can delight in the Lord by reading His word, giving thanks for our blessings, drinking in the beauty of His creation. The reality of life is that there will be things that we want that we do not have and things that we have that we would like to get rid of. It will be challenging and at times we may despair. It's why we have to be told to be content and not covet. It's why we have to be told to delight in the Lord and give thanks with a heart of gratitude.
When I am truly giving thanks and praising God for the blessings in my life and for who He is, the things I don't have melt away for the moment.
The fact that Jesus was tempted is a dose of reality. He did, indeed, choose to wait upon the Lord. For now, I, too, must wait.
Today I pray that God blesses you with the desires of your heart, dear Angie! Are you moving? I hear that the Carolinas are a lovely place to land--my brother and his wife are living there.
With love,
jessica
I think it's very natural, and in some sense very Christian, to long for better things. If we had everything we ever wanted in the here and now, what use would we have for eternity? That said, it's easy to struggle with wanting what we don't have... and that, in my perhaps-not-so-humble opinion, doesn't change unless our hearts undergo some transformation that has eluded me thus far. It doesn't change with marriage or moves or many of the other live seasons we long for when we have yet to arrive there. Instead, each new place in life seems to offer an enticing vista of something we can want more than what we have now. That's not to say that the things we wanted, once we have them, are not incredible blessings... I just think it is part of our human fiber to long.
I think the very best kind of longing is one I have rarely experienced: a longing for Christ that is stronger than the other pulls on my heart. I believe, however, that God provides the desires of our hearts in rather mysterious ways, and sometimes after waits that are more lengthy than we would have chosen. I know he has good things for you wherever you land. :)
N
I still remember the longing to be married. And I married at 23 so you think I really don't know what waiting is. But we wait for other things. I like Nikki's comment - it is very Christian to want, hope. God made our hearts and desires and needs. And though He is sufficient, we like sufficiency that is tangible and warm. Lucy can help some...
God must want to do something very special in our family.
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