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Earlier this week I overheard a conversation taking place on the patio next door. One man in particular could not utter three words without using profanity. It was terrible to hear and reminded me of how I am called to speak as a child of God.
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. ~ Ephesians 4:29
Unwholesome words include profanity, coarse jokes and the like, but we certainly cannot stop there. Unwholesome words are unkind words and untrue words as well. Speak when we can bless and build up those around us, with sensitivity to the situation. If commendation is in order, commend and encourage. If rebuke is in order, rebuke lovingly to correct. The objective is to give grace to the hearers.
Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. ~ Colossians 4:6
Here is grace again. This is to be a key element of our speech. If we practice speaking always with grace I think responding to people appropriately will flow more naturally for us. The grace should be seasoning to our speech. This includes words but goes deeper, I think. Grace should be part of our demeanor when we speak. When I read that our speech should always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, I am put to mind of yet another verse.
You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. ~ Matthew 5:13
If our speech is unwholesome or lacking in grace, has the salt become tasteless? How can we salt the earth if we are no different from the world in our speech? The way we speak is important not just for the benefit of the hearer. It is also important because we are trophies of the grace of God. If His grace is evident in our speech, He will be glorified. If it is not evident, where is our witness? Taming the tongue is a difficult thing to do, but we must endeavor to tame it for the glory of God.
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10 comments:
Absolutely right. Bad language is not a good thing.
It is a sign of great weakness to use profanity.
God Bless
Matthew
Amen, sister. Amen.
As you already know, I have recently fallen short in this area. My intentions were good - I was trying to act honorably by confronting someone directly (instead of talking about her behind her back, which in my opinion is of no avail in solving the conflict) to let her know that my feelings were being hurt by her actions. However, I did so during the heat of anger instead of allowing myself to cool down first and made the situation worse. Oy ve. I regret the way I delivered it and apologized immediately.
Unwholesome words include profanity, coarse jokes and the like, but we certainly cannot stop there. Unwholesome words are unkind words and untrue words as well
Yes, gossip is included here as well I think. At my work, there are 2 girls that do not get along and spiteful trash talking abounds. They are each busy trying to recruit people into their respective "camps". No, I don't contribute to the trash talk and yes, I refuse to be recruited into one's side or the other, but when one of them gets going how often do I just sit there and do nothing instead of counseling her to stop the trash talk and actually try to resolve the issue with the other person?
The grace should be seasoning to our speech. This includes words but goes deeper, I think. Grace should be part of our demeanor when we speak.
I think it goes even deeper than demeanor even. I think, like everything else, it is a heart issue. We sang this song at church on Sunday:
May the words of my mouth
And the meditations of my heart
Be pleasing to you,
Pleasing to you my God
In fact, the sermon was about Grace and reconciliation - the Grace that God had for Jacob despite his shortcomings and the Grace that Esau had despite Jacob stealing his birthright. How very funny that you should also bring up the grace topic! LOL.
It is also important because we are trophies of the grace of God. If His grace is evident in our speech, He will be glorified.
I have had more time now and I finally started reading a book that I bought A YEAR AGO (lol) at last year's women's retreat. I'm amazed it didn't have any dust on it. ;) It's Lies Women Believe: and the Truth that Sets them Free. Anyway, I think it was in this book that she mentions we should be quick to forgive. I think it is funny that we who receive grace so freely and abundantly from God have such a hard time doing the same for others. I mean, yeah it's easy for me to say "I forgive you" but sometimes we say it but it is not true in our hearts. And I think another benefit of grace is that you are able to let go of the hurts you are holding onto which hold you captive to the bad feelings that go with it. A couple of months ago in the Matthew Bible study, Suzie mentioned a booklet on forgiveness that she went through - I will have to remember to ask her for that info again because I have forgotten who the author is. Overall, I think one of the things God has been trying to pound into my stubborn little head this past year that I thought would never end is the lesson of grace - yes, conflicts will arise (especially when you're planning a wedding, lol) but my words and actions should still be full of grace, even when I view myself as having been offended/wronged. I think Vince has been a great example for me. Despite my wacky behavior during the weirdest year of my life he stood by me and believed the best of me, viewing me through God's eyes. I am forever grateful for his grace, encouragement and love. Awww, ok now I'm just getting mushy. LOL.
Words are so wonderful when they are for love . But when hey are for hate , they can kill.
Great post of wisdom
Thanks
Doug
I'm glad to know that you are not a fan of profanity, Matthew. I would have suspected as much.
Shieryl, have you had any success in attempting to reconcile the relationship? You don't have to answer here, but I would like to know. It hurts me to see the relationship broken like that.
I did think of gossip under the unwholesome category. It certainly does not edify. The situation with the coworkers is interesting. I would imagine that if you said something it might at least make them more cautious about what they say around you and you might not have to listen to it. It might help them to see how little value their approach has as well.
Grace is a very important part of our lives as believers, first in receiving it from God and then in giving it to others. I had the 1 Peter 3 imperishable quality of a gentle spirit in mind when I wrote the part about demeanor. I think we do need to pay attention to how we are presenting ourselves. I have had more than one person in the past tell me that I am very intimidating. That bothers me because I don't think my heart matches what I express by my demeanor. I would like to think that once people get to know me they won't be intimidated, but that does not excuse the impression I give strangers.
I have the Lies Women Believe book, but I think I got mine at the previous years' retreat. ;) I have read part of it, but don't think I got very far. It's collecting dust on my bookshelf right now.
I am glad that Vince has been so good to you. My sister was recently telling me about some of the wacky things her husband has to put up with. Loving husbands are a gift from God!
Thanks for visiting, Doug.
You make a good point that it doesn't just stop with coarse language, etc. but with unkind and false words as well, which we can all be guilty of at times.
Very good post, Angie.
I just thought of another one: words spoken in pride. How are they edifying? I am guilty of this a LOT.
The situation with the coworkers IS interesting. Sometimes it reminds me of the Jerry Springer Show or those political smear campaign ads. LOL. The really weird thing is every once in a while they will make up and be "friends" again until one makes the other mad then the other starts ripping on her behind her back which makes the other one mad so she starts in on it too. It is so sad. :( My method of late has been to change the subject but I know I should probably say more but it is difficult because I don't want to come across as "Holier than Thou".
I have the Lies Women Believe book, but I think I got mine at the previous years' retreat. ;)
Yes, me too. This was the retreat I was referring to (last year's retreat, not the last retreat). You know, the one where my CareBear was hovering over your ear to drive you to tickle madness. ;)
I am glad that Vince has been so good to you. My sister was recently telling me about some of the wacky things her husband has to put up with. Loving husbands are a gift from God!
Yes they are! Amen to that! :)
No, no, no, I meant I got it at the retreat that was out in the Banning/Beaumont area at the camp, not the one in Costa Mesa. Maybe not, though. Maybe I did buy it on the carebear in the ear retreat.
I remember the Banning one too. That was the year you were rooming with some choir people and I was rooming the Shary and Laile. Then during our free time you, Denisa and I did some arts and crafts. :)
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